patience and what is normal

Patience, patience, patience.  My family is off on a vacation and i am sitting at home trying to remain optimistic that i will be able to meet them there.  I am waiting on a baby to come and trying to not feel impatient.  I have the whole situation settled so that i can fly home in about 1/2 hour from where we will be staying if someone else goes into labor but i just cannot leave until this baby comes.  I can feel some modicum of compassion for those OB's and there induction for vacation antics.  Not enough compassion to act on it mind you, just an acknowledgement.  So now is as good a time as any i guess to use my time to work on this often neglected writing.

I have been reflecting on the past 2 months of births and how i tend to see patterns.  The current pattern that has developed is wait and see in nature.  I have been at many  births lately where everything is normal and usual but there are a lot of plateaus and readjustment time.  It is so important to let people be when things stall out.  It is probably for a very good reason.  3 of the women i am thinking of reached all different stages of their labors and needed a serious break in order to absorb and adjust to where they were and where they were about to go.  The other thing that has been on my mind lately is; checking for dilation can be such a useless endeavor.  What is to be gained really?  There is a time and place for checking someone so they can save their energy for when it really counts if they are all worked up and it is truly the beginning.  But just a couple of weeks ago there was a lovely birth where the mama was checked by her partner and found to be 1 centimeter even though she was acting very differently.  They opted to not have me come as it was "so early in labor"  then just a few hours later they were holding a gorgeous baby boy in their arms.  I made it but just barely.  Perhaps we would have all been happier if the check never happened or maybe it was all just right.  There is also that place when you just know someone is close but you as the care provider and certainly the mom wants to believe she is ready to push but is clearly not doing so.  Why check then?  She will likely push when she is good and ready and you may muck up the whole thing by putting your fingers in.

I was just at a birth earlier this week that was fast and furious.  It is interesting how that energy continues to flow for several days post partum.  Have others found this to be true?  Let me know if you have.  I guess it is also possible that it just follows the saying of "you birth how you live".

This leads me to the final question on here today. What is normal?  Please.  When will we realize there is no formula.  What is normal for some is abnormal for others and vice versa.  We all are so different in every day life and i find this does not magically suspend itself where pregnancy, birth and post partum are concerned.  Embrace your oddities and stay healthy!